On Friday night I went to a going away celebration for some friends that are moving to Dallas, I wish I had been a better blogger and taken pictures besides of what I wore...but in my defense I was .exhausted. like had someone drive me home because I was afraid I would fall asleep exhausted. Always the life of the party this one.
I hate 'letting go' of friendships, there is something about that feeling that causes a ridiculously high amount of melancholy to settle in my soul and it takes a lot to let it go. Dallas really isn't that far from Austin but I don't make the 3 hour trip to Houston to see my family but 2-3 times a year so I don't foresee myself jetting up to Dallas too often. This is a couple that I have spent birthdays, holidays, random Saturdays with for the last seven years so saying goodbye to them was disappointing.
I am making this sound extremely depressing I know...drama queen much...but something I have begun to notice is that as we start making choices for our own little families we end up losing friendships that we once held dear to us. This couple wanted something different than the friendships we could offer them: they wanted play dates and kids for their kids to play with and couples who want kids like yesterday and to live in suburbia...I completely understand the need to make choices for your own family...but I am not going to lie and say it didn't sting a little bit. Yes that makes me sound incredible selfish...sue me.
As I began to realize I was being a little judgmental, for choices that I couldn't understand, I felt guilty.
Because the mister and I have been making some pretty big choices for our little family and I know that other people are judging those choices because they don't understand where we are coming from. And I let other people's judgements bother me way more than I should.
The mister and I decided to buy a house, I have shared this news with a few close friends and family members and I was waiting for this reaction.
But instead I got the: that's interesting or when are y'all getting married. Your enthusiasm is overwhelming...thanks.
Regardless of other people's opinions we were pretty happy with our decision, found an ideal neighborhood that we could afford and were going to build a new place and even got pre-qualified for a mortgage. Holy shit batman, I am pretty sure this makes me a grown up.
Then came the kicker, Austin is in such high demand that down payment assistance for first time home buyers is basically non existent. And we make a little, like barely over the limit, to get assistance through a program that helps teachers.
Disappointed would be an understatement. I had a friend comment, well don't you have 3.5%...that's basically nothing...who has 3.5% of the cost of a house sitting around? I think I have $45 sitting in my bank account so thanks for rubbing it in that I obviously make less than you.
So we have moved onto plan B. We plan to rent a cheap small apartment for the next 12 months and save the difference to use as our down payment at the end of this period...if we don't kill each other first. It's the responsible decision to make and the best decision for our family. But I am not going to lie and say that moving on from our first place together has been easy, I feel like I have been in a constant state of stress since we turned our sixty day notice in last week.
So here is life for the next two months:
.next weekend. find a place to live.
.following weekend. garage sale, sell all of our things.
.first weekend in May. five day weekend in Chicago.
.two weekends later. move out of the house.
.two weekends later, Memorial weekend. turn our keys in.
Oh and you know continue teaching and you know living life.
If you follow me on instagram, you probably already got a sneak peak of the craziness that has become my house. We have to somehow purge enough of our stuff from our four bedroom house, in order to be able to to actually live comfortable in whichever two bedroom apartment we find...aka...the mister prefers to not shimmy around boxes of my things on a daily basis. At first I was being a bit sentimental about all of my things, but after my second and third go around I realized its just stuff.
Just the start of the garage sale pile.
So in the spirit of all of these big changes I am letting go of things from the past, moving on from stuff and friendships that I don't need to hold onto and only tackling those that I can take on...one at a time. With that being said I might not be around this little ole blog that much over the next few weeks so bear with me while we adjust to all of these changes.
- The Babbling Box!