Hey there, its been awhile.
This weekend was a bust. I had hoped maybe by the end of the day Monday I would be ready to be bright and cheery or at least somewhat sarcastic, but I wasn't. I hoped that by the end of Tuesday maybe I would be ready to post, but I certainly wasn't.
Then today, at 6 am no less because its when I do my best thinking, I had a revelation.
I am in love/hate with my blog right now.
Why I love my blog:
It has forced me to start taking more pictures and recording parts of my life that would otherwise be forgotten.
It gives me a platform to write out my thoughts and crazy classroom stories.
I get to 'meet' so many people that I would other wise never meet, I love having that feeling that 'holy crap if that girl lived near me we would drink together every night' when I read a blog post.
I have 52 followers, WTF?!?! Seriously when did that happen, I am blown away by that number.
Why I HATE my blog:
Sometimes I feel 'forced' to take pictures so my posts will be more 'entertaining' and I feel awkward constantly asking people to take pictures with me.
Sometimes I feel 'forced' to come up with new and interesting, to me at least, topics, because truthfully no one wants to see picture after picture of me and Mr. B, the one person I don't feel awkward taking pictures with.
And sometimes I feel 'forced' to be positive and not unburden my silly problems on here, because frankly we are all constantly aware of how great our life really is when we are surrounded by all of this tragedy recently.
And here is where I have a problem.
For me my blog is a record of my life, a way to take a mental and literal snapshot of where I am. So that one month or one year from now I can go back and recall how I was feeling, thinking and maybe even what I was wearing. If I am being real here, which I hope I always am, sometimes I feel like I want to share the lows with the highs. Or really just whine about the lows to people who can't tell me to shut up already. And I don't want to feel bad about doing it. Most importantly, I don't want to sit here and compare my weekend/life to everyone else's and feel like I have to be fake in my post in order to not be the debbie downer.
Because life is messy and relationships are hard. Some days being happy takes work and some days you really have to fake it. I want my blog to represent all of my days, not just positive spins on how my life is going because to me that just seems pretty damn boring.
I am pretty sure that if I got on here everyday and told you how 'perfect' and 'wonderful' my life was your only response would be:
So here is my current snapshot, poop free:
1. Weekend started off great, met up with Amber for a drink and only took a picture of our menu cause I am cool like that.
2. Followed pinterests advice and painted my iphone cover because it looked gross, mistake on my part that I can't really undo. Stupid iphone reeks of fingernail polish now. Stupid no spending money rule!
The before. |
The after. |
3. Ate pizza at 11 pm Saturday night because I can, screw the diet and the gym.
Just a normal midnight snack...three pieces later. |
4. Mr. B and I had our version of fight which basically meant not speaking to each other for two days.
5. Dropped my phone and cracked the back really badly, because my cover was still drying.
6. Sat in my hammock and cried, because that is what girls do when everything seems to be going wrong.
7. Had no AC in my classroom Monday and Tuesday, I was cranky and not the kindest teacher.
It was 87 degrees in my classroom + 32 computers + 30 middle school students who may or may not be wearing deodorant. How's that for a mental picture.
8. Skipped the gym for the last two days because after sitting in a sauna all day the thought of working out is unbearable.
9. Some how I let me students talk me into organizing a Harlem Shake dance with both our robots and them dancing tomorrow. Administrators please don't stop by. Thank you!!!
10. Had entirely too much booze the last four out of five nights, that is never a good sign for my liver or diet.
And there you have it, my life right now. No bells and whistles or filters and certainly NO POOP!
- The Babbling Box!
I saw your blog post title and had to come check it out. GREAT post! Life isn't always easy and we do need to vent about it. I also think drinking our sorrows and stresses away is a good solution too :) I had a parent give me gift certificate to the local wine store...best gift ever! Good luck on the Harlem Shake!
ReplyDeleteJess
I love when people whose blogs I read actually share the real stuff- the good, yes, but also the bad and the ugly. Because we all have it, and anyone who doesn't ever blog about it just isn't being genuine.
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous that you have a hammock to cry in, if that helps?
Hope life has a little less 'poop' now :)
Jenny
Luckeyfrog's Lilypad