Promoted: Navigation Wench

If you follow me on Instagram...which I don't see why you don't...you already know we took off on a little adventure to St. Louis and back over the holiday weekend. This was probably at least the tenth road trip that the mister and I have taken together but this is the first time I ever received a promotion! 

I went from: breather of air, bathroom demander and too many bags princess...to Navigation Wench.

Let me tell you a little story:

Wednesday night I decided to skype with the bestie and even put her on the big screen! 

I figured since the mister wanted to get up at the butt crack of dawn to drive all day to St. Louis Thursday my best plan of action would be to drink all night and sleep all day, I am a pro-sleeper and really can sleep anywhere. My brain is a scary place, don't ask questions. 

A bottle of wine and four hours later the bestie went off to bed and I decided that I must watch the latest episode of Pretty Little Liars and drink more...priorities. So the next morning I was awoken after 3 hours of sleep, many a ounces of booze...aka still drunk...basically I was winning at life.

I did what any seasoned road trip passenger would do, downed this little beauty and promptly passed out.

I do believe I woke up around the Texas border, but was too incoherent to form words.

Somewhere midway through Oklahoma I mentioned that I would need to find a bathroom in the next hour, little side note the mister hates Oklahoma and would prefer to never stop, knowing this I tried to channel my teacher bladder and hoped for the best. After a complete debacle of trying to get on the turnpike and detours and closures we finally made it on the toll road...followed by me saying I need to stop! I think the mister saw red. I apparently was breaking all toll road rules.

Missouri wasn't much better because the mister's car, the apple of his eye, requires special gas...and after 30 minutes of stopping at various gas stations and me trying to google gas stations with no luck, he resolved to using a lower grade gas and prayed to his car gods. I ate more snacks. Priorities. Then took more naps. Cause why not.

In between naps I relentlessly bugged the mister to stop at the World's Largest Rocking Chair, the wax museum, every sex store we saw...and there were a lot...and pretty much any thing with a pretty sign. His answer was always NO.

Needless to say our trip to St. Louis was filled with way too many stops, too much of me annoying him and probably way too much of me sleeping. I believe I slept 7-8 hours of a 12 hour trip.

But the return home is where I received my promotion! Let's also be real here, after that lovely performance to St. Louis there really wasn't anywhere to go but up...but work with me here.

We were smart and packed sandwiches from Mom's, if you are ever in St. Louis you should stop by !delicious! and I don't even like lunch meat.

We only stopped three times for the entire 12 hours...thank you bladder...or maybe it was the dehydration from drinking for so many days.

I actually stayed awake and wasn't reeking of booze. I am an adult sometimes, promise!

I pulled out my phone and used the Waze app to let the mister know of any signs of the police, traffic, etc. And even found us a better way home that avoided Austin rush hour traffic...something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy..so basically I was pretty much essential to the road trip. 

And thus the mister dubbed me Navigation Wench...I am shooting for co-pilot next trip. Gotta have goals. Gotta have goals.